Despite inevitable adversities, Kath and Jim enjoyed a productive and enjoyable life together for 50 years – indeed a significant milestone.
40th Anniversary – 1989
‘The Lovers’ by Edna Smith
For the occasion of Kath and Jim’s 40th Wedding Anniversary, 5 March 1989
I’ve known Kathleen since sweet sixteen
So innocent was she
She stayed that day until the day
She married her Jimmy.Then such results! Geoff, Al and Sue
A brood to cheer the heart
And now the girls have left the nest
And made a similar start.But Kath and Jim are busy still
Retirement just a name.
They’ve grandkids, cross stitch, bowls and beer
With now and then, an indoor game.So raise our glasses, all in fun
Forty long years and they’re still as one!
What’s their secret? (a question to vex)
Why, Kath’s good cooking and plenty of sex!
50th anniversary – 1999
Their story
Alison Wicks, 1999
It was 1947 when they first met on the tennis court. Jim recalls that Kathleen Sheridan was a “pretty blued eyed girl in a white tennis frock”. Kath remembers “his lovely smile, beautiful eyes and long eyelashes”. They had both returned to their prewar jobs. Kath was an AMP office girl. This was considered an appropriate position for a young lady. Besides, if she had gone to teacher’s college, she might have been sent out west somewhere. Jim was a reluctant clerk for Royal Insurance. Following his education at Gatton Agricultural College in Queensland, he had dreams of jackerooing, just like the man from Snowy River. In fact he used to read Banjo Paterson every morning on the train to work. However, his office environment was far removed from ” …. where the air is clear as crystal, and the white stars fairly blaze … “
One day, Jim arrived to ask her out. All the office girls thought he cut a dashing figure in his salt and pepper suit. Their first date was a trip to the Royal Easter Show on Good Friday. It must have been memorable, because they have returned to the showground regularly over the past 50 years . They treated themselves to hot chips after they had eaten their homemade egg sandwiches. They still remember travelling home on the train and counting the number of days between their birthdays – 100. Kath’s fascination with calculation remains to this day. She believes it relates to the maths tuition given by her father, Jack.
On 3 July 1948, Jim proposed to Kath while they were sitting in his father’s car outside Victor St. Jim’s father, Eric, once said that he knew something was happening that day, because Jim was jumping around like a flea. He later presented the ring to her while she was sitting on the swing under the pohutukawa tree in Mowbray Rd. After the wedding and reception at Chatswood on 5 March, 1949, they honeymooned in Kiama. They still like to detour to Kiama to eat fish and chips while sitting on the harbour foreshore.
They rented an apartment at Craigidon Flats, on the Manly boardwalk at North Steyne and stayed there until the end of the year, when the rent was increased. Then they moved into Victor Street with Kath’s parents. Meanwhile, Jim had changed jobs, beginning his 31 year career in the paper trade. Kath, however, had ceased work as she was pregnant. They moved into their first, and only home in Ryde in 1952.
At last Jim was able to employ his agricultural knowledge as he began to develop his garden. He dug the terraces by hand, lovingly nurtured the lawn and planted trees and shrubs. The Elizabeth St garden remains today a testament to all his hard work. People still regularly comment on the well tended garden beds and shrubs. It has only been in the last 18 months that he has begrudgingly allowed someone else to mow the grass. Over the years, the garden has been a source of great pleasure for the whole family. It has been the venue for birthday parties, shuttle cock competitions, barbecues, motor cross and even a wedding. The beautiful jacaranda in the centre of the garden has kept Jim very busy. If he wasn’t raking up its fallen leaves, he was pruning the branches or supervising tree house constructions. Occasionally, though, he has managed to relax under its canopy in a hammock.
While Jim was occupied outside, Kath was busy in the house. Sewing has been one of her favourite activities. She always made the children’s clothes and dress up costumes. She even made a little jacket from Jim’s salt and pepper suit. She has always been keen to learn and master different handcrafts. She has done embroidery, crotchet, knitting and tapestries, producing high quality garments and articles for family and friends. Recently, Kath has been absorbed in counted thread work. This appeals to her calculating mind and she says it keeps her alert. Her current project is an ambitious patch work and quilted bedspread. Though she states she has no artistic flair, she is certainly producing a beautiful masterpiece that will become a family heirloom. Kath helped the children with homework, projects and piano practice. She has instilled in her children and her grandchildren a love of music and crafts, which she inherited from her mother, Dora.
Both Kath and Jim have generously shared their skills and interests with other groups in the community. Jim was a volunteer gardener at the Ryde Bowling Club. He is also a supporter of the local Riding for the Disabled Association. He has mucked out the stables, weeded the gardens and lead the children around the track. Though there were no ”flint stones flying” at least he has been working with his beloved horses. Kath has sewed countless aprons and made dozens of toffees and iced patty cakes for school and church fetes. She has also been treasurer of the P&C and Womens Bowling Club, balancing the books with enthusiasm.
Though not an athletic couple, they enjoy sports. They continued to play tennis for 10 years. Jim began playing bowls in the ’60s, but it was not until 1976 that Kath joined him on the rink. They have both participated in pennant competitions and Jim is a qualified umpire. Today they are satisfied being spectators and supporting the grandchildren from the soccer field sidelines or at the athletic track. Walking is the exercise they currently enjoy.
They began to travel when the children were older. Their first overseas trip was to New Zealand. Kath ,of course, assumed the role of purser. She handled ‘kitty’ so well that there were sufficient funds for a big splurge at the Franz Josef Hotel. Jim felt it was important to see Australia before venturing overseas again. So they undertook trips to Northern Queensland, Darwin, Tasmania, and travelled to Perth on an Australian Pacific tour. In 1985, they took off on their ‘big trip’ to the United Kingdom and Europe. Kath was tour organiser and navigator. Jim was driver and porter.
In his retirement, Jim has enjoyed various hobbies. He has learnt lapidary, leatherwork, picture framing and beer making. He has obviously been influenced by his mother, Edna, who also worked with organic materials. At 74 years old, Kath decided it was time to acquire some computing skills. She now spends her days engrossed in word processing, publishing and trying to improve her score in solitaire.
They have a large network of friends. Kath still meets with her girlfriends from the AMP office and those that enlisted with her in the Anti Aircraft Battery. Jim has marched regularly in ANZAC Parades and has attended many of the 2/5th reunions. Their friendships with the Elizabeth St families span 48 years. In that time they have shared the joy of births, marriages and grandchildren as well as the sorrow of illness and death. The Ryde Bowling Club has also been a source of many long and special friendships.
When asked to reflect on the reasons for their successful marriage, Kath feels it is because they are “friends as well as lovers”. Jim thinks it is because they “support each other, through the rough times and the good times”. It seems that they certainly complement each other. Jim’s practicality has melded well with Kath’s mental sharpness. She has the ideas, he puts it into practice. They enjoy doing similar things and share the same values – honesty, respect for others, and compassion. A job is never complete in the Reay household unless “it is done properly”. Alas, this motto has caused tempers to fray-sometimes. Jim is never satisfied until something is perfect, or he has discovered why something isn’t working. Kath will continue pondering a problem until a solution is found. Their teamwork and perseverance are to be admired.
Their marriage is filled with great love and happiness. They provide ongoing support to their family and – friends, and in return are greatly loved and appreciated.
A comment: Recounting this story has enabled me to understand the meaning of mum and dad’s marriage and the reasons it has lasted 50 years. I have also recorded significant events and dates so I can share my parents’ history with my children and their childrens’ children. I became totally absorbed in this project. I hope you enjoyed reading it, as much as I have enjoyed writing it.
Alison Wicks – March, 1999
Their marriage diary
April 1947
First date, to the Royal Easter Show
3/7/1948
Engagement
5/3/1949
Wedding at St Andrew’s Presbyterian Church, Chatswood
• Margery Britt – Matron of Honour
• Valmai Reid – Bridesmaid
• Gerry Reay – Bestman
• Dick Sheridan – Groomsman
• Barbara Reay – Flowergirl
• Reception at Windsor Garden
• Honeymoon at New Brighton Hotel, Kiama
Mar – Dec 1948
Resided at Craigidon Flats, Manly
1949 – 1953
Jim employed at Alex Cowan , paper merchant
1949
Kath employed at AMP, office girl
Jan 1950 – May 1952
Resided at 12 Victor St, Chatswood
5/10/1950
Birth of Geoffrey David
June 1952
Moved to 19 Elizabeth St, Ryde
6/10/1953
Birth of Alison Mary
1953 – 1970
Jim employed at Tullis Hunter, paper rep.
1956
Birth of stilbom child
16/7/1958
Birth of Susan Kathleen
1970-1983
Jim employed at Envelope Manufacturers, purchasing officer
1970-1975
Kath worked at Haberfield Newsagency
11/5/1974
Alison’s marriage to Larry
22/4/1978
Birth of first grandchild, Julien Ryan
17/1/1981
Birth of second grandchild, Lennon James
15/4/1983
Jim’s retirement
15/5/1984
Birth of third grandchild, Jackson Blake
15/12/1984
Susan’s marriage to Paget
26/4/1987
Birth of fourth grandchild, Laura Kathleen
7/8/1987
Birth of fifth grandchild, Sheridan Ashley
13/6/1989
Birth of sixth grandchild, James Paget Reay
29/4/1993
Birth of seventh grandchild, David Michael
5/3/1999
Golden Wedding Anniversary celebrations at Kiama
Kathleen Mary Reay 